Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Sense of Humor

This article about President-elect Obama's sister Maya reminds me that having a sense of humor is a good thing. This passage where she talks about her grandma gave me a good laugh and made me feel much better:

Dunham, whom Obama called Toot (a form of Tutu, the Hawaiian word for "grandparent"), never showed self-pity or fear as she faced the end of her life, Soetoro-Ng writes. But Dunham could be wickedly funny. "When she saw the number of flowers that had been sent to her," Soetoro-Ng writes, "she said, 'Oh my ... with all of this hullabaloo, it's going to be embarrassing if I DON'T die.' I gave her a chuckle and of course told her that I wouldn't at all mind such an embarrassment, and then I invited her to stay and dance with me into the New Year. She couldn't stay, but she certainly tried, and defied expectations again and again."

Treading Water

Today I woke up feeling like I am treading water. I feel like the kid in swim class who is trying to pass the test. Just looking at the edge of the pool but too tired or scared (not sure which) to get there. I know this is due in part to my late mommy's birthday being in a few days and my parents anniversary would have been last Saturday. This would have benn a time of activity for me if they were alive. I would be figuring out what to get them both and then what to get her. My biggest worry during this time of year was getting the presents home in time to not be talked about from the pulpit on the Sunday after. Now I am looking at which women's center I will be giving out the lotions my kids wrapped. Getting through the day without having the ultimate selfish thoughs of why did she survive and not my mom. I usually do but this year I am not so sure if I can get through this without wondering why MY mommy? This makes my heart soo sad and I am finding it harder and harder to get out of bed in the morning.