Please Go Away

Michel Steele is causing me all kinds of conflicts. As a Democrat I love this guy he is priceless. Everytime he says or does something stupid it lets me know the other guy is suffering. But the Balck girl in me is kinda sorta rooting for him. Its like watching your kid play a little legue game against a friend's kid You really want your kid to win but would it really be so bad to root for your friend's kid too. At least let him get the ball. But There is just too much stupidity flowing.

Point A

Point B

Point C

Ok there are too many instances to put here but you get the picture. The Black girl in me cringes everytime I see his name in a headline or sees that he is going to be on TV. I am sitting there begging him not to say something stupid. Just please, please have a coherent thoughtout conversation and move on. But more times than not I am left thinking will he just please go away. Watching him is like watching the news when the Black chick in the curlers and pajamas at 3pm with the baby on her hip, who is more often than not dirty, and wondering was she the only witness they could have found. I admit I am one of those Black people. I often am going "please don't let him be Black" when I hear of some crime. Oh and I have enough friends of other races to know that you all think the same way when it comes to soemthing that is sterotypical of your race. So don't judge. But, back to Steele I beg of you Micheal stop making a fool out of yourself. I should be used to it by now I remeber you being all upset because The Sun paper said that you were chosen to be Lt Governer becuse you were Black and you were all outraged. Then you put up these lifelike signs of you on Moravia Rd and in other mostly Black neighborhoods saying something to the effect of make history and vote for your first AA Lt Gov. You forgot to mention we would get old Bob with that package too. You can't be outraged when someone brings up race then use it for your benefit. It would be like me complaining becuse someone pointed out I was a woman and then plastering pictures of myself in a bikini all over the place. So Mike I say to you in the words of my dear Grandma stop actin' like you don't have the sense God gave you! The Democrat in me loves loves it but the Balck girl in me can't take much more of this. Give her a break please?

Feminist?

When I first moved to Baltimore I did an adopt a grandparent program. I sat with this lady in a nursing home and she gave me some of the best and funniest advice ever. She told me something that I have thought about a lot lately. She said she never bought into feminism because it to her, it took away the good parts of being a woman. She loved her family depending on her. She enjoyed cooking for and keeping a clean house for her family. She told me that feminism told you you were wrong for this. That your worth in the world depended on your being selfish. I tried to explain that all we want is to be treated equally to our male counterparts. She told me that was just the stupidest thing that we could say because the truth is we are different. That’s why there are men’s teams and women’s teams. She said what we should really be striving for is fair treatment. And fair is not always equal.

The McCain-Palin ticket makes me question whether or not I am truly a feminist. Gov. Palin’s entrance into the race had me proud the first few days. Then came the story of Bristol’s pregnancy and the story of Trig’s delivery and I have been a pissed off chick ever since. Bristol’s pregnancy had me asking WTF was she thinking? How could she throw her kid under the bus like this? I have been mad with this woman like she was my family since I heard this. Then the story of her leaking fluid and getting on a plane and going back to work 3 days later. Who in their right mind does this? Many have said that we would never question a man’s parenting like we have her. I for one can say I would. If this were John McCain’s 17 year old daughter I would feel the same disgust for him. If my co-worker came back to work in a week after giving birth I would definitely question her. I saw a post from Reality Chick that helped me come to terms with some of my anger. As the oldest child my resentments rose every time I saw Trig on Bristol’s hip. I saw my teenage life as mini-mommy. Where the little ones come to you just as much if not more than mommy. You are the go to girl. Truth is you just want to be a teenager. Being mini-mommy had some advantages for me because I ran like HELL from boys. There was NO WAY I was going to get pregnant. I was tired of mothering. All that alone time did not do so well for my sisters.

I even stayed away from this for days because it was bothering me so much. I realize that I am a feminist. And Ms Linda was as well even if she did not think so. In my mind it is about having the opportunity to make the choices you want. If I want to work fine, if I did not fine. If I want kids fine, if I did not fine. I also realized that we should question the well being of politician’s children because if they are not taking care of their own then how can I trust them to make decisions that will impact mine for years to come? The truth is men have always brought their wives out as an example to the world that their kids are OK. Obama talked extensively about how he and Michelle were handling his kids. He was not asked because he answered the question before it could be asked. As have a lot of male politicians. On the flip side she should get credit for being a mommy and men get no credit for being daddy. Joe Bidden and many men like him have raised kids on their own and there is no talk of their skills translating into leadership. It’s not Bristol’s pregnancy that bothers me it is her mom’s exploiting it. As Ms Linda said we are different. Do I think Gov. Palin should have the right to make her choices abso-effing-lutely but at whose expense is she making these choices? In her I see what turned Ms Linda off from Feminism. The get where you can at anyone’s expense attitude. My feminism is in tact. I suspect that we are wasting our time and energy defending someone that does not need it. After all fair is not always equal.

Addictions

I realized last night that I may need a 12 step program after this election is all over. I still remember those AA commercials and I see myself with the flashlight saying “My name is Michelle and I am an electionoholic” (better word needed). I was on the phone with a good friend of mine but I was too busy flipping between CNN, MSNBC and FOX to pay attention to her. Then she asked what are you doing? That didn’t get me to stop I just started going on and on about the election how Gov. Palin is just a distraction because after all how does any of this help with my gas, food and the fact that my company is going through “voluntary separations” with “involuntary” to come later. Then there are those that are just shutting down or outright laying off. How does this help me get my kids a decent education? I gave up the idea of retiring at 50 a long time ago but will I at least be able to retire someday? My 401k is looking a little shaky. We went round and round, but we kept coming back to our kids. By the time I got to bed I was drained and still seeing images of me with the flashlight.

This morning I realized that the reasons I am addicted are my children, my nieces, nephews and all those kids I love dearly. I have this host of brilliant little ones I am related to. My daughter is a fearless girl my middle son is an artist at heart and my oldest has the biggest personality with a smile to match. My 8 year old nephew is going to be one of the most successful people I know. How do we make sure they are better off than we? As a parent I know fear, we are on very intimate terms. He lives with me rides to work with me sits at my desk and sleeps with me every night. My prayers only makes him move a little out of my sight but is presence is constant. It is fear that makes me wonder how we manage if John McCain, Mark Sanford, Sarah Palin (I personally was rooting for him so we could be rid of him) and the like are in charge for the next X number of years. My concern is not where we drill for oil but how do I pay for the gas to get to work. As a single parent I fear for the social programs I rely on like after school programs and summer camps that I can afford. Programs that will help mine or my girlfriend’s teen when they need it. Help for those kids in abusive homes, or in need of a fresh start. I can barely feed my own family so my donations to the food bank are non existent these days. Will there be scholarships for my kids? Will there be student grants for their education? If my daughter or my son’s girlfriend gets pregnant what type of choices will they have? What kind of jobs or careers can they have? The outcome of this election will have long term ramifications. How will history deal with our decisions?

Over the course of the last eight years I have watched my bank account dwindle, my prospects for a better position vanish, and everything I touch is 2 to 3 time as expensive while my paycheck barely registers an increase but we can spend 1 billion dollars a month in Iraq? Many more of my younger relatives are in harm’s way. Then we get this bunch telling us it will all be fine, actually we are fine. Give me a break! Sarah Palin’s daughter will be fine but what about my girlfriend’s pregnant teen? McCain’s daughter will get to go to the college of her choosing but what about my baby brother or my brilliant children? Barack Obama is the person I am willing to trust to turn things around. I am tired of fear. I want a real date and a warm body in my bed. So, for now I hold that flashlight and hope my withdrawal isn’t too bad Nov 5th.

Why Can't I Ask?

I have a lot of thoughts in me that I was going to get out today but Gov. Palin is on my mind. More to the point the fact that there are many who think she is off limits because she is a woman. We keep talking about wanting equal treatment then when it doesn’t go our way we get to yell, scream and stomp our feet. Sexism is a very real thing. As someone who has dealt with both racism and sexism I can tell you that whining about it gets you nowhere. I have been called a Black b***h more times than I care to count. You move on because, surprise, life is not fair! Does it hurt yes, but I and many others like me know that we got where we are because so many before us took far worse and endured so we can get to this place today. I wrote about this with the Hillary supporters who were yelling about her getting respect from Barack Obama. She should have been consulted about who his VP pick was and her issues should be discussed. In my years of following politics no loser has been given as much as she. All because of the political correctness of our day. Look, she was not the pick and did not need to be consulted because this was Obama’s victory to savor not hers. If she were a man she would have been sent on her merry way long before the primaries ended.

Now it is rally the uteruses time with Gov. Palin. Her family is off limits, calling into question her judgment as a mother cannot be done, she is a woman. Look if the playing field is level then her judgment at home is on the table just as John Edwards was considered a jerk for cheating on his cancer-stricken wife. Bill Clinton for sleeping a girl not much older than his daughter. When you choose public life all of it is public including your kids. Hillary went to great pains to protect Chelsea and we all remember the jokes one by even John McCain. Gov Palin thought that somehow she and her children would be spared? Give me a break! Remember all the questions about why John Edwards even ran or why Elizabeth let him? I do question her as a parent because I have made choices that hurt my career to put my kids first. It’s called PARENTING. Hillary could have run for office long ago but chose to wait. Gov. Palin did not make these same choices and she wants me to think she is just like me, normal? Normal my big wide a**. You talk about how sacred life is then what about nourishing it when it gets here. If she were a guy I would be asking the same questions. Why can’t I ask them of her? If we are not asking this of our public figures then we are all lacking. Just because she is a woman does not give her a pass. You want a level playing field then stop yelling foul and play! This is not little league where everybody has to play nice. In the big time you can sustain career ending injuries. It’s a risk you take. Gov. Palin put on the big girl gear you are in the big leagues now!

WHAT?

I am wondering if I am in an alternate universe. Ever Since Barack announced that he selected Senator Biden as his running mate the world is once again revolving around Hillary. If I hear one more person talk about the respect that should be afforded to Hillary Clinton I am going to scream. SHE LOST!!!! Which part of this don’t we get she is not the winner. It is Barack’s right to pick up his toys and leave the playground. She is the loser and a sore one at that. She seems to be channeling Dennis Rodman. David Gergen, whom I really beginning to dislike was on CNN and MSNBC talking about how Barack did not even consult Hillary’s counsel on a running mate (gasp). Am I missing something here? Since when do we bend over backwards for the loser? My family is not for the faint at heart I know, but the bragging rights in our legendary spades and monopoly games go to the wining person or team the other person stand there smiles, and hope they can get another chance next time we get together. Can anyone tell me who won the silver when Michael Phelps won the gold? We don’t care. Don’t get me wrong I think Hillary accomplished a monumental feat. But my goodness she lost.

I was soo proud of her but I was also a little apprehensive. Women all over this country were talking about all the girl power this woman evoked but was I the only one to notice that she got there just because she was someone’s wife? Do we tell our daughters to work hard and push for what you want but it is really who you marry? Yet this woman was where we placed all our girl love. No doubt she may have gotten there because she was someone’s wife but she busted in and proved she belonged. The problem is she lost her grace and I am suspecting she never had any class as it is something you have or don’t. I have begun to lose respect. When this PUMA mess started I did not see her, Gergen or Carville say enough already! Stop this mess. I see John McCain’s ads talking about her and using her quotes. Where are her ads saying this is it, it is Barack and if we want this then we have to vote for him. She should be drawing clear lines between her positions and McCain’s.

My Grandma used to tell me that we don’t put family business out there but she put the democratic family business out there for the entire world to see. Now we are like the family who has to decide which aunt’s house to go to for Thanksgiving so we just skip the whole mess and stay home or go to the in-laws. If we want unity then she has got to put away her ego and get this done. If Bill Clinton is supposedly so broken up over his legacy under Bush then stop whining and get Barack elected. I get that she needed some time to lick her wounds but Mitt Romney and Mike Huckabee have been making the news rounds for McCain where is she? Making the rounds begging for money to retire a debt she got herself into and then saying oh, by the way vote for Barack. If all these people are so fired up over getting her in the white house, then retire her debt. The plane tickets and gas alone for all these demonstrations in Denver should help her. I have my $20 but it is waiting for her to show some genuine effort on her part. David Gergen, do me a favor and shut up! Hillary, do me a favor and get over yourself and out of our way so we can get a democrat in the White house and start to fix this mess we are in. The things facing this country are too important for one person to hold up. LISTEN UP Hillary is not the nominee. Barack is and it is his right to decide who is on his team, it is his right to seek the counsel of whomever he wishes. This is about him not Hillary. If we want respect for the next woman then she and her supporters have got to act with some dignity and (gasp) class.