Thursday, March 11, 2010

When Death Comes

Death comes without warning but always seem to reek havoc no matter the circumstance. My Uncle died on Sunday morning of a heart attack. When my Sister called I knew something was wrong because with both of us being Sunday School teachers, Sunday morning is not a time we call each other. When she told me I actually felt relief. Not because he was sick, but because it was not one of my other Uncles or Aunts. For that my heart feels a sadness that I cannot explain. I should love this man, he is my father’s brother yet I feel nothing at his death. I grew up around him yet I have no good memories to morn. That makes me feel sad. I am one of those people who was a true village reared kid. My family is super close sometimes a little too. So my uncles and aunts are like second parents to me. I worry over them, always answer their calls, take their advice with a smile and treat them with the utmost respect. But this person I do not know him, I never knew him. He was distant, mean and just plain not nice. I have never felt anything for him. Now that he is dead that makes me think of Patti Labelle’s advice that we learn something from every situation. From this I have learned a few things:

Being a good person is important. It is important to be good to your family and to others. Being mad at the world only shuts you off from it.

Your life truly speaks for you. There is a song that used to be THE funeral song the lyrics are something like “may the life I’ve lived speak for me, May the works I’ve done speak for me…” It will, just be sure you like what it says.

In life every decision you make affects someone besides you. My uncle did not have insurance not because he could not afford it but because he was selfish and cheap. Well, that put the burden of burying him on his sisters who are already stretched to the limit.

It is important to put yourself in someone else’s shoes. I did not like my uncle but he was my aunts’ and uncles’ brother. Without parents, the mere thought of losing a sibling can bring on a full fledged panic attack. For that reason I will go this funeral help pay for this funeral and even buy flowers.

In life I would never ever want to bring pain to any of my family or friends. But upon my death I hope that my family and friends will shed a tear at the thought of my not being with them anymore. I hope that very few people will come to my funeral out of duty but all will be there out of love or at the very least respect.

My grandmother was truly a wise woman. For a woman who had no formal education she offered the best life advice. She used to say that we don’t get to choose family because if we did some people would have nobody. Ain’t that the truth!!

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