Feminist?

When I first moved to Baltimore I did an adopt a grandparent program. I sat with this lady in a nursing home and she gave me some of the best and funniest advice ever. She told me something that I have thought about a lot lately. She said she never bought into feminism because it to her, it took away the good parts of being a woman. She loved her family depending on her. She enjoyed cooking for and keeping a clean house for her family. She told me that feminism told you you were wrong for this. That your worth in the world depended on your being selfish. I tried to explain that all we want is to be treated equally to our male counterparts. She told me that was just the stupidest thing that we could say because the truth is we are different. That’s why there are men’s teams and women’s teams. She said what we should really be striving for is fair treatment. And fair is not always equal.

The McCain-Palin ticket makes me question whether or not I am truly a feminist. Gov. Palin’s entrance into the race had me proud the first few days. Then came the story of Bristol’s pregnancy and the story of Trig’s delivery and I have been a pissed off chick ever since. Bristol’s pregnancy had me asking WTF was she thinking? How could she throw her kid under the bus like this? I have been mad with this woman like she was my family since I heard this. Then the story of her leaking fluid and getting on a plane and going back to work 3 days later. Who in their right mind does this? Many have said that we would never question a man’s parenting like we have her. I for one can say I would. If this were John McCain’s 17 year old daughter I would feel the same disgust for him. If my co-worker came back to work in a week after giving birth I would definitely question her. I saw a post from Reality Chick that helped me come to terms with some of my anger. As the oldest child my resentments rose every time I saw Trig on Bristol’s hip. I saw my teenage life as mini-mommy. Where the little ones come to you just as much if not more than mommy. You are the go to girl. Truth is you just want to be a teenager. Being mini-mommy had some advantages for me because I ran like HELL from boys. There was NO WAY I was going to get pregnant. I was tired of mothering. All that alone time did not do so well for my sisters.

I even stayed away from this for days because it was bothering me so much. I realize that I am a feminist. And Ms Linda was as well even if she did not think so. In my mind it is about having the opportunity to make the choices you want. If I want to work fine, if I did not fine. If I want kids fine, if I did not fine. I also realized that we should question the well being of politician’s children because if they are not taking care of their own then how can I trust them to make decisions that will impact mine for years to come? The truth is men have always brought their wives out as an example to the world that their kids are OK. Obama talked extensively about how he and Michelle were handling his kids. He was not asked because he answered the question before it could be asked. As have a lot of male politicians. On the flip side she should get credit for being a mommy and men get no credit for being daddy. Joe Bidden and many men like him have raised kids on their own and there is no talk of their skills translating into leadership. It’s not Bristol’s pregnancy that bothers me it is her mom’s exploiting it. As Ms Linda said we are different. Do I think Gov. Palin should have the right to make her choices abso-effing-lutely but at whose expense is she making these choices? In her I see what turned Ms Linda off from Feminism. The get where you can at anyone’s expense attitude. My feminism is in tact. I suspect that we are wasting our time and energy defending someone that does not need it. After all fair is not always equal.